The Biggest Key to Empowering Yourself? 

Develop Your Emotional Intelligence Skills

Our survival instincts always search for how to identify threats to our safety - and at a basic level, all changes represent potential threats. Within the first five seconds of any interaction, as part of our survival instincts, we register chains of perceptions, feelings, and associations, that then inform our decisions. These vital functions of threat assessment are imperative to our survival, and automatically develop as we add experiences during our lives.

Unfortunately, most of us have had to rely primarily on "automatic development" of these reactions to change. Thus, we learned the patterns of our parents, the school yard, and whatever we were lucky (or unfortunate enough) to pick up along the way. We didn't have any deliberate or systematic training in how to develop a more complete range of skills for our emotional intelligence.

Our skills for emotional intelligence were seen as so basic, we were expected to know how to use them well.

If you were one of the lucky ones...

Then you really did learn how to deal well with the emotional impacts of change. That put you in the minority.

If you grew up with loving parents who modeled healthy communication, you're in the minority. You are also in the minority if your childhood, and / or adulthood up to now, has been free of trauma, abuse or neglect, and you've been lucky enough to have a supportive, truly loving and nurturing family. Or, you had a good education that helped you counter-balance any of the above deficiencies - or not. 

What happened as a result?

Unless we were in the lucky minority, what actually happened is we learned to repress, suppress, deny, deflect, minimize, rationalize, or otherwise avoid our feelings. Above all, we learned "to not talk about it" - and "to look normal."

Why did we do that?

Because feelings hurt. Our emotions are messy, unpredictable, complicated, overwhelming, and inconvenient. They could lead to us being made fun of, ridiculed, dismissed, and isolated - and we couldn't allow that. 

And so, now we have...

Broken marriages, toxic relationships, epidemic depression, burnout, stress leaves, rising death rates from drug abuse, alcoholism, and suicide.

In the workplace, we have offices, companies, industries, and social institutions - large and small - often filled with subtle and definitely uncomfortable, passive-aggressive (and sometimes outright abusive) behaviours, petty power politics, and undertones of toxic feelings.

The dissatisfied workers in these environments all know: 

  • - Bob and Sue don't get along, and
  • - that Bill (the supervisor) is successful enough that he's able to  get away with bullying anyone he wants to, and
  • - Betty (well, let's just say "there's something about Betty", even if she IS the boss or the teacher or "the golden child")

If you're a solopreneur, it's quite probable you've got a similar "committee" of voices inside your head, talking about and  critically commenting on yourself, your suppliers, your customers, and anyone else inside your orbit.

"Change is inevitable and constant.
Knowing how to choose change wisely
determines our Destiny and Legacy."

"Know yourself"

Such advice seems so simple...

But the question then becomes...

"HOW do I do THAT?"

This is the path of 

The Inner Journey 

of Developing Wisdom

There are a variety of ways
I work with clients, depending
on their needs and goals...

To help us both get

to know what the

best options are at any time, 
I offer a free, no obligation
"Insight and Strategy Session"

© Zander Townend, 2018. All rights Reserved   I   Policy  I   Disclaimer 



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